Joseph Hedlund Johnson, of Salem, Oregon, has been charged with the U.S. federal crime of interference with the performance and duties of a flight crew member or attendant. He is expected to surrender to authorities on Monday.
This is what happened.
On a flight from Portland Oregon to Maui (Hawaii), Johnson was upset to learn that airline regulations prohibit the stowing of a carry-on bag under an exit-row seat. Actually, I was quite pissed off to learn that fact some years ago and now I specifically request a seat in another row when I fly, but in this case, Johnson can be excused because he doesn't fly very often. Airline operators don't offer a discount to passengers in those rows and because they encourage manufacturers to construct seats in those important rows with less room for storage so that they can maximise their profits, I blame 'the airlines'.
Anyway, Johnson didn't threaten anyone, evidenced by the fact that the plane left Portland as scheduled and considering what happened next, had he simply exercised his right of free expression and extended his middle finger at the smart-mouthed Bitch who was obviously upsetting one of the airline's customers, I suspect the plane would not have flown.
Anyway, I digress.
About 90 minutes into the 5 hour and 40 minute flight, Johnson took advantage of the comment card provided to all passengers and expressed his thoughts. He wrote:
"I thought I was going to die, we were so high up," the card said. "I thought to myself: I hope we don't crash and burn or worse yet landing in the ocean, living through it, only to be eaten by sharks, or worse yet, end up on some place like Gilligan's Island, stranded, or worse yet, be eaten by a tribe of headhunters, speaking of headhunters, why do they just eat outsiders, and not the family members? Strange ... and what if the plane ripped apart in mid-flight and we plumited (sic) to earth, landed on Gilligan's Island and then lived through it, and the only woman there was Mrs. Thurston Howell III? No Mary Anne (my favorite) no Ginger, just Lovey! If it were just her, I think I'd opt for the sharks, maybe the headhunters."The reference to "Gilligan's Island" concerns a 1960s-CBS television comedy about a charter boat crew and their passengers who had become shipwrecked and wound up living together on a deserted island.
Johnson handed the comment card to a stewardess who opened the sealed envelop in which Johnson had recorded his comments and after reading these frightening words she passed them to the pilot, who later told investigators that, considering Johnson's earlier behaviour regarding his bag, he felt threatened by the card and decided to turn the jet around. The pilot then lied to the passengers, saying that there were mechanical problems to explain why the plane would not be going to Maui. Imagine, in an effort to restore calm on the flight, this brave pilot told the airline's passengers that there was a mechanical problem that would prevent the plane from reaching Maui!
Then, the North American Aerospace Defence Command (NORAD) scrambled two fighter jets to escort the plane back to Portland, just in case Johnson attempted to complete another comment card.
Johnson and all of the other passengers were completely oblivious to the true reason for the turn-around—that the crew and pilot were literally quaking in their boots, afraid from Johnson's comment and his direct references to "Gilligan's Island".
So, upon landing in Portland, Johnson was met by FBI agents, who interviewed him, the flight crew and his girlfriend.
Johnson stated that he didn't think anyone would open it during the flight. He thought, as anyone would have, that the card would be taken back to an office somewhere, opened, and that everyone in the room would 'get a laugh' from it, and that perhaps he'd even get some frequent flyer miles out of it. Johnson didn't intend to scare anyone, like the pilot had when he told the passengers that the plane in which they were flying was faulty and could not make it to Maui.
There was a day when airlines valued their customer's business and appreciated (read: empathized with) the stress many people go through when flying. But today, it's "give us your money"; "sit down", "buckle up", "shut up" and if you don't treat them like the gifts from God that they obviously believe they are, then you'll be arrested when we land. Invite passengers to write their comments and then have them arrested for an innocent message that is in no way threatening and would not have been read during the flight had the stewardess been minding her own business and had not done something or said something to Johnson that she was obviously worried about.
Today, the passengers get to wonder if the pilots' flying the plane while loaded, or about to nod off or surfing the Internet and missing the airport or indeed whether some incompetent bastard or cost cutting pencil pusher working for the airline hasn't jeopardised the flight in their own special way.
...And this pilot felt threatened by Johnson's comment card?
Johnson merely expressed himself as invited to do so by the airline—the crew and pilot clearly overreacted and need to calm down.
The crewmember that opened Johnson’s comment card was obviously worried that he had written something about her and should be held responsible for everything that happened after she violated the confidence to which Johnson was entitled— Hawaiian Airlines provides those cards so that passengers can express their thoughts about their experiences with crewmembers and the flight and airline in general . My understanding is that those comment cards are supposed to be opened and read by Customer Service staff and not the stewardesses...
Greg Smith is, inter alia, the publisher of OfficialWire. A serial entrepreneur and "one-man think-tank," as well as an avid lifelong pollster, statistician and political junkie, Greg is dedicated to the perpetuation of an absolutely free press as one of the cornerstones of liberty and informed decision-making in a democratizing world. Considered too Liberal by his Left-Wing liberal friends, he periodically offers his two-cents at OfficialRant.com, where he podcasts his freewheeling opinion on numerous and varied topics. Greg is also President of the SpudsToGo and the owner of MrPressRelease, both of which businesses boast a fast-expanding profile in the global market. He is married to Kathy Smith and, together, they and their three children, Max, Phoebe and Clio, divide their time between homes in several European capitals. However, Kathy says Greg's true base of operations is on the Worldwide Web. You may contact Greg through this website.
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