Hey there Reverend Doctor Man of G-d and War Terry Jones, it’s almost September 11, 2010 and I really wanted to dash off this open letter to you so you can make the most of your Qur’an burning day on Saturday. I have a question or two for you and some suggestions and I think combined they’ll make for one hot day down there in Florida. BTW, has the BP oil spill stuff gotten into the water supply down there yet? Just curious, but I digress.
Anyway, first of all, I have a couple of questions for you. Which riwayah of the Qur’an will you be burning? Will it be Hafs ‘an ‘Asim? That’s the most common one found today and you could get it at just about any mosque. Get a bunch of’em. Also, make sure to then to get a Warsh ‘an Nafi’ recension , it’s not quite as available, but there’s still quite a few around. Make sure you get your Warsh Qur’an in both the Uthmani script – again pretty common, but if you really want to piss of the people of North Africa, especially in Morocco, be sure to get a Warsh Qur’an that is in the Magrebi script. These are much harder to get and the copy I own personally I really treasure, so if you can burn some of those it will just hurt so, so much.
There’s lots of other recensions you can get as well. If you are really lucky you might find the Riwayah of Ruways and Rawh from Yacub al-Hadrami – very rare. Might even be worth some real money and then you could just drop it into the fire. How cool is that?
Oh, in case you didn’t know, the Qur’an only exists in Arabic, so if you just get some English, Spanish, or Redneck translation – that won’t be burning the Qur’an at all and you won’t be sending a message to the Mooselims who are hiding under your bed. In fact, even if your translation of the Qur’an contains the entire Arabic text, if there’s more English or Redneck in the volume itself due to comments and footnotes and the like, then some Muslims won’t be as offended since the book is not mainly the Qur’an itself. So please go to your local mosques and buy those Arabic only Qurans just to be on the safe side. I’m sure your tax-paying Muslim neighbors will be happy to oblige.
Oh, another question. Did you know that the Quran was meant to be recited? (That’s what the word Qur’an means – not that I would expect you to know that.) So you should buy a bunch of CD’s of Quran recitation, get a big shredder, put the CD’s in and shred them to bits and then toss them into the fire too. There’s lots of places to get Quran cd’s. Also, if you go here, you can download all the Sura’s in the Quran you want from all of the Riwayahs for free, burn your own cd’s (pun intended) and then shred them and toss them into the fire. I bet that’ll get you excited. Oh, I almost forgot, at the mp3 site I just linked to, you can get the entire Quran in mp3 format in the Ruways and Rawh riwayah. It differs from most of the others in a way that involves including some of the case endings in the recitation, not that you would know what those are, and it does so in a way that I find artistically effective. Oh, my Elohim, it would just so piss me off if you did burn that one.
Oh, and there are also DVD’s, lots of them, showing men reciting the Qur’an. Go here to Amazon.com. Oh, wait, none are left. Everyone must have bought them so they can burn them. But be sure to buy those too – this is sort of like killing two birds with one stone – like the Israelis do when they shoot pregnant women – they even sell t-shirts advocating the practice. Anyway, you can be just like the Israelis and burn not only the Quran, but the images of the dude who is reciting it too. Man that will just piss so many people off – and probably get you and your followers off too.
Oh, you are going to burn copies of the Talmud too right? You told Mark Glenn in your interview with him that you would. I am linking to it so everyone can hear. I’m sure that Zionist Jews who hate Islam would be glad to give you copies of the Talmud for free – and remember it’ll need to be in the original language(s) – mainly Hebrew, I think some Aramaic too. Aramaic – that’s the language Jesus spoke. That’s the language he was speaking up on the cross when the Muslims, oh wait, I mean the Jews – err the Italians – crucified him because the Muslims, oh wait, the Jews – err – the masses (of no particular persuasion) – preferred a common criminal be freed instead.
Since you don’t want those evil Mooselims to build the falsely-named ground zero mosque in New York, I strongly suggest you burn the Constitution of These United States. I have a copy of THE UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION here for you to print out and burn. Readers of my blog should also print it out and fax it to you at 352-371-6511.
Since you do not care about anything except yourself, and I agree you have the right to burn whatever you want as long as it doesn’t make the waters of the Gulf any more polluted than they now are, you should go whole-hog and burn the Declaration of Independence, the Articles of Confederation, and the Oslo Accords principles of whatever. We’d appreciate it at Mantiq al-Tayr, since you are burning all this stuff you don’t care about, if you’d toss in anything written by Pam Geller and/or Robert Spencer that you might come across.
Oh, and it would also be good, since you don’t like the devil very much, if you’d burn a witch or two. We’re not that good at Mantiq al-Tayr at determing who is a witch, so we don’t get into that sort of thing. But why let all the people up in Salem have all the fun. I’m sure there are plenty of witches down there in Florida.
Wish I could be there in Gainesville for this great event which will go down in history as one of the great achievements of Christianity. I mean, it won’t match the Inquisition in Spain where Muslims were forced at the sword to convert to your religion and the Jews were driven out and sought refuge in Muslim lands because Christians were behaving, well they were behaving like Christians I guess, based on what you are doing.
As the time draws near, all of us here at Mantiq al-Tayr wish you and those who worship with you a happy holiday on September 11, 2010 as you burn copies of a book held sacred by more than one fifth of mankind, preserved in its riwayat lovingly and handed down generation after generation for all mankind to read, study and reflect upon.
And all the tuyuur here at Mantiq al-Tayr forgive you, for you know not what ye do.
No comments:
Post a Comment